I decided to write this separate from our Facebook group, mainly because I’ve already been posting so much I’m getting paranoid about it, and more so because of length and I want to get this part done here all at once. I’m writing it here on my blog but don’t worry, I make absolutely no money on the blog. And speaking of money, I will be talking to you about it here in this writing, it is a very big deal with me and I need those of you who will listen to understand, I’ll get to it in a minute. But first, and speaking of “understanding”, that’s what I’m after. Or more so I should say I am after companionship in this walk with the spirits. I’ve been doing it alone for 22 years; I need some company with it.
A quick history. In 1995 I came to New Mexico to visit my crazy mother. She lived where I live now, way out in the wilds of this state. I wasn’t very “spiritual” at the time. In fact, the most spiritual thing I did was fish, and also that I worked for an environmental group. So when I came here at that time, I’d only planned to find the nearest lake so I could go fishing. I thought of New Mexico as one big cow pasture, not as “the land of enchantment”. But the very first day here, at evening time, my mother asked me to go off somewhere while she did her meditation and prayers. So I hiked off to the nearest hill to take a look at the view. I was standing there on this hill and all of the sudden I had flash that I had been there one thousand years before and I suddenly found myself raising my arms and praising the Great Spirit. Afterwards I was like, “What the f*** is this??” But long story short, I haven’t been the same since and I now own the land and the hill that vision happened on.
However, every since that happened, I sort of been alone and more and more over time to where now I hardly speak to anyone. On average about once maybe twice a month I have an in person talk with a neighbor, who lives about three quarters of a mile away, for maybe a half an hour. Otherwise my communications are on the internet, thank god for that at least. I won’t move, my life’s purpose is tied up with the kind of living I do here which is seeking to live as far out of the free enterprise system of economics as I am able.
So now just a minute on money. I do not believe in it, not at all. I believe it is the downfall of human kind and sadly will be the same for many other innocent species unless we wake up. People say, “Yes but money can do good things too”. What they do not realize, literally do not realize, is that those “good things” would have happened just fine if money had never existed. In fact, much of the good things needing done are only existent because of the concept of money in the first place. In short, there is no justification for the free enterprise system of economics, it is an illness.
OK I m only telling you this part so you’ll know why I refute paying big money for Shamanic lessons. I wouldn’t pay that if I were a millionaire, which I wouldn’t be if someone were to give me a million. I would burn it and keep only what would keep me alive. Understand, I don’t have a tribe; I live in a money world. So to stay alive I have to deal with money but I do that as minimally as I am able. And like I said, I wouldn’t pay big money for lessons even if I could because I wouldn’t trust the person I was paying the big money to. If it works for you great, but to tell the truth I wish you did not feel that way. Why? Because I need some companions, some cohorts that are doing the same things. There is no other reason at this point.
My having this way of life has alienated me. People do not like what I preach, in fact, many hate me for it. And speaking of preaching that is what the Red-tail hawk is doing in my life. Hate to say it but, Red-tail hawk is most likely my totem, him along with Raven. In fact, it is Raven that often brings me Red-tail. The experience I had yesterday (I wrote about it at our FB group) was started by Raven chasing Red-tail towards my direction. Raven just the other day did the same thing with Eagle. It’s crazy what happens.
But see Red-tail is a messenger, and so am I. Yes, I do have a message. I have two groups on Facebook dealing with my message and this blog also. Simply put, my message is to suggest to people to give up their freak’n money! 🙂
Yes, I am angry about it, very angry; this is something I need help with. More so, I need understanding about it. It would take a special kind of people to give me that understanding because my message is so offensive. There is no way around it. For instance, I think that anyone living at or above the lower middle class income range is living wrong. Try telling that to one of your neighbors and watch the rocks fly through your window. See, hawk’s message is not always kind.
So see I needed to tell you all about this. I have come to this group to share and to learn. But the sharing is not easy for my part, I might would be creating more alienation from the people I feel I need the most in my life. I’ve been too long without you. OK, I think you should be getting it by now. You know what I am doing, what I am looking for. I am open to suggestions. Thanks for listening.