The Outsiders of the World—Part II

imagesIn part one of this series I focused on the making of an Outsider and its definition.  In this segment I wish to focus on the life of an Outsider, how does he or she get by and live in a world that they are in stark contrast with. In truth I can speak to this well as I have lived in just about every arena an Outsider can live in, from homelessness and crime to hiding how you really feel in the midst of a sales meeting.  Yeah, I was an insurance salesman in my early ears, go figure.

When I said “get by” there earlier I could say that’s it in a nut shell and stop right there.  Whatever success an Outsider can achieve in the world of free enterprise will usually be on small scales and very short term. Just to note, it is my guess that in a percentage breakdown of the Outsider population in America only a small portion of them are going to be on the street or are outlaws, an even smaller percentage at the top, the percentage would get slightly bigger between the middle and the top, and the largest portion in the poverty to lower middle class range. Each class has it’s on set of rules on being an Outsider, but all of them simply “get by”.

It’s an emotional thing, out here it is emotionally cold. You are either living in the cold on the street, or you are hiding the cold inside as you sit in the board room. Admittedly it is coldest on the street both physically and more so emotionally, nevertheless for the Outsider it is always cold.

So I want to talk about this coldness, what is it like? The hardest spot for an Outsider to be in is where they find themselves on the outside going through the motions of our way of life in the market world but on the inside their head is somewhere else, anything from wild orgies in the Bahamas to spiritual retreats in the forest. Wherever they want to be they are not at, and it’s a hell.

You might say that sounds like someone who is simply lost within their tendency to rebel which in turn makes them see things perverted. That’d be kinda true, most Outsiders have some sort of mental and emotional illness and actually do get perverted perceptions, or over radicalized, at least at some point in their journey. If they live long enough, which a terrible many do not, they will usually get over the extremes. You see Outsiders by the very nature of the term are going to be sick, they are going to be angry, and they are going to be lost.

Of course there is a however, and that is Outsiders while having so much personal trouble are in that predicament because of their honesty, their ability to perceive the entire spectrum, and their inability to find a landing place while floating outside of it all. That inability exist because there is no place to land, therefore Outsiders do in fact get rather wacky, at least once in awhile cuz it is unavoidable.

When I say that Outsiders “are going to be lost” you must take that literally, lost in their inner lives that is. Here are the pseudo choices for a place for an Outsider to land:

  1. a commune
  2. the street
  3. crime
  4. living in the normal world but hiding your true self
  5. living alone in the wilderness

There are not any other choices for the Outsider. Most of these are rather bad choices, depending on the individual. Some really like the idea behind a commune, but the truth is very few communes succeed and even if they did their turnover rate is generally very high. Others may like the street, but the reality is they many times die young there.  Though criminals are technically Outsiders and get many thrills, their lives are filled with more turmoil, sickness and death than all the others. Living in the normal world but hiding your true self is comfortable on the outside but a crazy wild ride on the inside.  Finally, living alone in the wilderness is maybe the most emotionally secure and safest neutral place to be, but the loneliness is huge.

I have lived in most of these scenarios, actually when I look at it again I have lived in them all, damn, didn’t realize that til now. OK here’s the big. big question many Insiders will ask, “Well if it’s so god damn hard to live that life, then why not just surrender to life as it is presented to you by the majority. Don’t like it? Too bad, accept it and move on.”

Yeah I get that logic, in fact I spent a great deal of my life trying to enact it. The simple answer is it can’t be done. That is because for the true Outsider their view of the majority is literally that they are insane. Therefore, they find it impossible to accept just about any part of it.  Many Outsiders grapple with this view, I understand that cuz I have extensively. It’s hard to accuse a majority of any kind as being wrong or insane. But I find myself obsessively making that accusation, though not lightly and not without timidity. Once you’ve come to the place of publically expressing your Outsider views you are always in danger of being labeled an egomaniac that writes and reads manifestos.

OK, that’s it on this series. This is what it is like to be an Outsider. Where do you fit in? Just one more thing to note about the Outsider’s point of view. If you dig into what they are rebelling against, and if you take an unbiased look at what they see, then you will at the very least see why they do what they do. It is logical deduction. That does not mean it will make you an Outsider if you come to understand their plight.  You only can become an Outsider when your understanding of the world causes an acute negative reaction to it and automatically moves your ass to start looking for a new place to exist, of which you will not find.  When you find yourself in that predicament, you will have joined the ranks of the Outsider.


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The Outsiders of the World–Part I

imagesYeah OK let me put this out right up front and that is that I wanna capitalized the term Outsider and will do that in this document, OK? Just like I would when talking about a Roman, or a Spartan or even a CEO.  See cuz an Outsider is a form of person, a reason for being, just as all peoples whose descriptions are capitalized have reasons for being what they are…and are therefore capitalized in name, get it?

The only claim I can make about having any knowledge about Outsiders is that I am one and that you’ll just have to accept that on my word, but otherwise I did my special studies on Outsiders while an undergraduate studying economics. I got a B for the one hour course which was a nothing more than a 30 page paper which was packed full of quotes and minor speculations on my part. Interesting to note though, I was an Outsider then but not so much in full knowledge of that fact, long from it actually.

The Outsider

What is an Outsider? Who is it? Well whatever impression of the term you have it’s probably somewhat in the ball park already with or without my analysis, so let’s just go from there right now.  And so yeah, the impressions you most likely have, or lets say the impressions citizens would have on average are maybe as such:

–a person who does not wish to live by the norms of the given society in which he or she lives

–typically thought of as a homeless person, a criminal, political dissident or a cult member but in any case will be living in poor conditions or conditions outside the norms of home life.

Yeah those two views above will likely sum up the typical view and are for the most part correct. However, I can assure you that it can be taken much deeper, with a wider spectrum of color and many varieties of circumstance. Poverty and crime are by no means a requirement for membership to the Outsider world, you can be rich and a good citizen and it still happens. I don’t have to look too far, my girlfriend is an Outsider but she has grown up living in various stages of “normal” for all her life and all the way to date she has never been deprived much at all. Yet I sometimes think she is even more an Outsider than I am and probably is if  I’s to get honest about it.

Most of the time Outsiders are born that way and start awakening to it somewhere between 10 to 14 years of age, but not always. In the case of my girlfriend she convinced me that she was about 6 years old when she realized her relationship to what was going on “out there”.  For me I was 10, but then at the ages of 11, 12 and 14 years old I had intense moments towards this awakening and anyone of them I could call a beginning of my Outsider way of mind. In any case, eventually, but at some time early in life, you find you are not fitting very well with the way things work and so you begin to try and work out ways to make a life within that fucked up deal. It’s hard.

If it ain’t been hard then you sure as fuck ain’t no Outsider. One thing for sure, the Outsider way of life and thought is hard to live out. Isn’t it obvious? I mean the term itself spells pain. It’s always safe and cozy on the inside but outside you’re cold and alone. Though shouldering that pain can be a source of pride and esteem, it’s still the fuck pain, ain’t it?

This pain mostly comes in the form of denial. For the most part people do not like the idea of being an Outsider, rarely does someone wish to be different and on the outside of in, and so they refrain from those notions.  But you are what you are and if the Outsider blood is in you, then it’s gonna come out and in that struggle is pain and misery, it just is.

Hey when I say “Outsider blood” does that make you think it’s some kinda genetic thing? Well it might be in most cases, I mean my dad was a hobo, but I do not believe at all that it’s a requirement. I consider Chris Hedges to be an Outsider though he was a famed Foreign Correspondent for the New York Times for many years, author of many books and perhaps the greatest intellectual of our time next to Noam Chomsky, perhaps greater than Chomsky in my opinion. And I am not so sure I’d call Chomsky a true Outsider, not like I would Hedges. But to the point, I would not see Hedges as a “born” or genetic type Outsider, he got it by experience and knowledge.

As all Outsiders do in some form or another, it’s just that some are so easily prone to rebel that it seems that they are born that way, as I was. Others are not so easily persuaded to jump off the cultural cliff into the depths of Outsiderism, but knowledge eventually breaks them down and so they too jump. Knowledge is what breaks us all down in the Outsider world, but let me put it this way. When I was 10 years old I found myself loving the song “Eve of Destruction”, it was my favorite song. Not just because of the tune, but it was mostly the lyrics, which I memorized. Yet, I really didn’t have an understanding of current events or even their concept, but somehow I resonated with “society is fucked up” stuff. And that’s cuz it is, by the way. Though I really did not have the  proof of that at age 10 that I do now, I still knew it then. I believe Chris Hedges learned it as an adult and did not have an obvious instinct towards it as I did. Nevertheless, we are both Outsiders, get it? To see what I mean read this article Hedges just wrote and you’ll know that even though he probably wrote it on a very fancy laptop in a nice house somewhere in the New York skyline, he still portrays the outlook of the homeless Outsider.

So yes, I am saying that the Outsider is that person not because of his or her outer circumstances, but more so due to their view from the inside; that view mostly being about the Insider life. Cuz see the truth is it takes the Insider life to reflect Outsider life much more than it takes the Outsider life to reflect Insider life. Insider life is a constant while Outsider life is a result of that constant. Can’t be helped, I’m a product of the reactive rather than the proactive…but I don’t mind I guess cuz somebody’s gotta do it…I suppose.

Just a little more about defining this Outsider thing. I’m gonna use me here to say it. Yeah see when I’s 10 I crossed a line by listening and adhering to that Eve of Destruction song. That set my mind to rebellion, I naturally became a natural rebel.  And then again in 1966 at age 11 in Santa Cruz California I sat under train tracks of the trestle that topped the San Lorenzo River and as I listened to “Sounds of Silence” on my AM transistor radio I felt something waken again and it felt like rebellion…again. But it wasn’t until I was 12 that I actually was confronted with the reality of what was driving my outlook. I saw very plainly how things worked, and that is that you work and make money and then spend it to live, it fucked me up, I didn’t like that set up, something was very wrong with it and for the first time it scared me. It sacred me cuz I didn’t know how to deal with that “knowledge”. I had received a knowledge of which I didn’t even begin to put into words until I’s in my 40’s. All’s I knew at that moment at age 12 was that humans in the modern world had gotten something really fucked up about how they operate and I didn’t want any part of it.  Actually, there was too much math involved for me to understand it at age 12. For an in depth understanding of that go here.

So’s I’s gets to age 14 and some of this shit actually begins to become empirical. I mean I’m working and spending money see, and that already gets weird cuz I get a bank account and within the first week I overdraft it by 50 bucks! But was that cuz I’s young and dumb like they all laughed and said it was, no. No it was cuz I did not want to understand money, so I just spent it and tried to be happy about it by spending lots of it that I didn’t have while remaining willfully oblivious. Ah you say, the beginnings of a criminal you say, and I’d say well yeah sorta, but in the end, not.

And that’s my final point that there are all kinds of Outsiders. I’m a Heinz 57, I’ve traveled a little bit of all the roads to Outsiderism and as a result I live a little of all the ways thereof. I live very poor, yet am not a street bum or homeless (though I have been before). I have no problem with breaking the law in any moral sense, but am too chicken to get caught at it to actually do it. I spent a part of my life as a political Outsider and activist, and another part as a simple renegade doper saying, “hey man”, and finally now in another part of my life I live a little bit of all those personas giving essence to each one of the them at various and individual segments of time. It’s less painful now, with understanding comes less pain and that’s cuz also comes less guilt, which generally is the greatest source of pain.

No matter the road you travel towards the Outsider way of life, you will be a part of a struggle. You will be pushing against a machine that is way the fuck bigger than you are.  If you ain’t pushing against some god damn thing then you ain’t living as an Outsider,  instead you are coasting, Outsiders can and do, do that. In fact they spend most of their life in and out of this coasting and pushing deal. It’s the way of it, can’t be helped and is also another source of pain. Outsiders life typically are chaotic, moving around a lot, many relationships, divorce is very common if not required, usually not much to do with kids or community programs. Yeah see cuz remember, like I said earlier an Outsider is a reflection of things from the Insider lifeway which make them not in control cuz they are therefore products of something else other than themselves. But in the end that’s OK cuz truth is, Outsiders are the most enlightened beings on planet Earth, that also, can not be helped or controlled. This concludes my analysis of the Outsider.

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Art is about two colors for Danny Heim

This is from the Gallup Independent newspaper published 7/11/2015. Sorry but you have to subscribe to view it on online so I sort of reproduced it here, umm. :(

Art is about two colors for Danny Heim


Laura London

Staff writer

E L MORRO — Artist Danny Heim’s work “Black & Blue Cowboys” is featured in ongoing exhibits in El Morro at Old School Gallery on New Mexico Highway 53, as well as across the road at Ancient Way Cafe.
Heim said he’s been producing artwork since about 2009 when he started in Taos.
“The whole artistic thing for me is new,” Heim said. “I consider myself fortunate — there are people who have been doing art for decades and never had a show.”
Heim said he doesn’t make a lot of money selling his work, but has had some success. In addition to Old School Gallery and Ancient Way Cafe, he submitted work to some shops in Taos and did pretty well there.
“But I couldn’t make a living at it — I would be a starving artist, definitely,” Heim laughed.
Heim grew up in Kansas and said his family moved around a lot.
“My dad was a hobo, basically,” he said. “Our family was kind of gypsied out.”
Heim has lived on his land in El Morro about eight years and says he’ll “probably be there till I die.” He previously worked in construction, has been a database developer and worked as an administrator for an environmental group in St. Louis.
Heim said he has recently backed off from doing shows and promoting his work as he experiments and further develops his style.
“But I think I’m ready for a new round,” he said.
By next spring he hopes to be showing in Taos again and perhaps Santa Fe.
Heim said he has no formal training in art or art history; he just enjoys creating.
“I don’t really understand art … As far as my knowledge of art, you could probably stick that in a thimble,” he said.
He also writes, especially poetry on personal subjects and environmental issues. He estimates he has about 130 poems in his portfolio, and mentioned he has won some poetry awards in online contests. He may publish a book of poetry at some point.

Heim mentioned he has done a lot of writing as an activist on social and environmental issues, including some articles published in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch as well as New Harvest online magazine.
Heim’s artwork is minimalist, with clean lines and mainly only two colors: black and blue. He focuses on Western themes including cowboys, Indians and Southwestern landscapes — but he said he likes to throw in the occasional UFO or strange creature.
Most of the work is on a plain blue background with silhouetted black characters, landscapes and moons, and gives a somewhat moody impression. Although one piece — “High Fast Ball — A Self Portrait” featuring a naked woman sailing through the air with a catcher’s mitt to retrieve a flying baseball — seems to portray a whimsical side. Another piece, “Hidden Village,” features kivas and includes earthen tones.
Heim said black and blue is what is special about what he does. He has done some textured pieces and even added white to some of the black and blue works. He said he sometimes ventures into full-color pieces and recently has explored the abstract, but with the next round, “I think I will go back to hard-core black and blue.” He said his original works were in India ink on a blue pastel background, but because of the strong fumes from the India ink he started using acrylics. However, he plans to get a mask and get back to the India ink because “ink is thebest.” “The way it works with the pastel, it gives it a strong appearance,” Heim explained. “I’m portraying the iconic West, which is good inink.” Heim says some of his inspiration comes from Hopi influences, the rock and barren landscape of the Southwest and old western films.
“I watched a lot of that when I was a kid,” he said.
He said his favorites are black and white films from the 1950s, especially featuring John Wayne. He feels the black and white Westerns were much better than those that came out later, and said the black and white feel of the films comes out in his work.
Heim said he makes his own boards with masonite and puts wooden backing on them. He started doing that because it is a lot less expensive and he can do a lot more art.
“I have a lot of pieces not shown yet,” he said.
Heim’s work can be viewed at his website:






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The Big Deal Pope, I Mean the Pope’s Big Deal

pope-encyclical-climate-articleInlineThis thing with the pope, his encyclical and all…it’s a big deal. Much bigger than I think one can see right off the bat, if I may presume. The first and foremost and only thing to realize about what he is doing is something very simple to comprehend. He is simply doing what Jesus would do, you know, that thing Christians say a lot, but maybe don’t mean? Well, Pope Francis does.

His concern, his mission…is to do what Jesus said to do, “heal the sick, feed the poor”. He is behaving like any person who knows what Jesus wanted him or her to be like, you know, the code dude, the freaking Golden Rule man. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It is the fundamental basis for human reason, for common sense, and for logical deduction. Yeah, that’s this pope, he does that shit, he does what Jesus guided him to do, it’s right there in the fucking bible man. That’s the deal, see?

Now here’s a thing I wrestle with so much I actually gotta get to the place to just let the fucking thing go, I mean I gotta do that a lot. And that is how the fuck is it we got so many great academics in this world right now in the 21st Century, and they can’t see this simple thing the Pope is up to. If you follow and understand what Jesus was about in the bible, and yeah ya got over look a couple deals, but if you just pay attention the stuff in red and forgo the editorializing bulshit, then you’ll see the simple messages of Jesus, I mentioned two already, but the last and final one is the simplest of them all but says it all, “love one another”.

But see I don’t get it, there are things from those understandings that would tell us exactly what to do with our current situation, that being that we are on a path to total destruction.  Well, even the fact we are on that path is not understood by many of our supposed great minds, still there are quite a few who do, but, the net result is blindest to the simple truths of our time, and the finite responses to those truths available to us.

First off, the fundamental reason we are set to this blindness is because we let go of some things we’ve had in our consciousness since we walked upright, and that is the instincts to protect, defend and live for the basics to life itself, those being food, water, clothing and shelter. These were not only meant to be number one in our lives and what our collective mind to be fixed on, these were also our religion, these were worshiped as though a manifestation of Christ. And then suddenly, in geologic times scales anyway, in a moment we let all that go out of our collective mind and food, water, clothing, and shelter became completely taken for granted and set to a non-consciousness priority in our lives and culture. At least in those societies that dominate and rule the world, making it a global persona to be reckoned with.

See ya gotta check this closely, ya gotta look at it, think it back, go back to then, be there and understand your instincts, then you’ll see why the pope is doing what he’s doing and why it makes perfect, logical sense.

I suppose the first step, the next step for human kind is to get the collective mind awakened. To realize we have to become a single purpose society, that this is the next logical move, that we center everything on healing and on reckoning with our basic natures. It doesn’t mean we go swinging in trees, that we stop being smart technologically and scientifically, but we do have to go back to a consciousness we had many millenniums ago, and we have to reclaim it as something most high. This is actually some what of what the pope’s encyclical is, a return to fundamental common sense by once again making food, water, clothing and shelter our central purpose for living and the foundation of our happiness. It’s that or we’re gonna die. This should be understood by now, and I am shocked on a daily basis that it is not. But maybe this pope is on the road to bringing that awakening.  I truly hope so, it would be the miracle needed to set our road straight and long lasting.  That’s all I gotta say for now.

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Who Will We Be?

imagesYou know I think about evolution a lot, in fact, my blog is called Evolve Now in case you didn’t notice. Yeah and one of the things I think about is what-a-we gonna be like in a 1000 years? Assuming we survive that is.  But lets say we do.

OK here’s another question or two…or three. I want you to really think about these particular questions cuz they tell a lot about how we think right now. But first we gotta make some assumptions. That we’ve survived is one obvious assumption but also that we’ve survived well. In other words we’ve finally got it right and life is sustainable and happy for all species involved with living on planet Earth. Yeah we’ve stopped climate havoc, we’ve done away with war, with hate, with crime; all the bad stuff.  So given that, here’s the questions:

  1. Will we still have an average of 3000 square foot homes?
  2. Will we still have malls?
  3. Will we all be rich, or will we all be poor, or something else?

Note that these question have a certain purpose I’m trying to get at but they are also just starters on getting you thinking about how things will look and be; you can come up with your own questions if you don’t like these. But I tell ya, I didn’t call this blog Evolve Now for nothing.  Yeah cuz we ain’t got a 1000 years to evolve, we gotta do it now. And so when you answer these questions to yourself, or in a comment here or on FB, however, please give yourself a minute to think it over and come up with “your” answers.  And if you have answers, then ask yourself what are you willing to do to bring about the evolution you see coming, or should come by whatever standards you’ve come up with. Good luck.

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1467436_10151678631130496_1400231111_n Well hell, here we go, la-de-fuckn’-dah, death and death again. Here’s what I’m going through and if you would please comment and tell me what you see and feel. I hear about the Western Black Rhino is now god damn mother fucking EXTINCT!! FUCK!! I think my bones are rattling. Yeah, yeah I know–what about the smaller little bugs and plants doing the same, yeah I know the big guys get all the attention, I get it but god dammit some things just ring bells in you head and heart that shake your guts up, like this shit.

I am writing about this cuz I’m afraid I’m getting too affected by the condition of planet earth. I live remotely and I guess you could say I get very insulated out here, sorta lopped off from the trends, happenings, the goods and the bads of civil life so maybe that’s what’s up. But it seems when I hear shit like this I get so fucked up about it and a feeling of impending doom seems to hover over me. I don’t like it.

Hey look, I wrote off recovery from the industrial world a long time ago, we’re fucked and about the only hope is that when we start to go we go quick, and more so that I ain’t here when it happens. I wanna live out my life in peace and harmony being some kinda nut out here in the wilderness unaffected by the FUCKING FUCKED UP HUMAN RACE AND ITS GOD DAMN I WANNA BE A RAP STAR AND BE FAMOUS SHIT AND CARRY A GUN ON MY HIP AND SHOOT ANY FUCKING ANIMAL THAT AIN’T GOT A GOD DAMN DAY LEFT ON EARTH!

But see, this stuff invades my little world and I suppose I could not get on the net and never listen to Navaho NPR (that’s all I get out here) and never go to my friend’s house while he’s watching TV or SOME GOD DAMN THING! I don’t know. But I do know this, it’s hell in a hand basket time and I guess if you’re one of those activist like I used to be then good fucking luck keeping your sanity and realize that if you are sane in the midst of all this you’re probably nuts.

It’s pain, I feel this pain and I guess I could be glad I feel it but FUCK NO! I don’t want to feel the kinda pain that witnessing social, environmental, cultural demoralization and devastation bring. No way. Get me outa here! Ah, whatever.

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When to Shut Up—Always

download1I been a seek since I’s about 14 years old, maybe even as early as 10. It caused me to talk to myself asking questions to the sky, wondering where the fuck do I fit in. I always heard about how we are all one, that everything in the universe is connected. Well I don’t often get that but even when I do, it seems like something no so important to my immediate place in time. A nice thought, but it doesn’t really do much for my day to day life.

As a seek these kind of questions and realizations would seem important, so I thought and I wondered if I was misplaced in my employment as a seek. But oddly, my feelings of inadequacy regarding this pushed me even further into seekhood.  It made me talk more to myself, ask even more questions and as that effort always wound up a net zero I began to wonder if I should just give it up. Of course I never have, it seems that this condition is built in to my psyche, so I had to abandoned the idea of abandoning my need to seek. Oh well.

Eventually my continued seeking lead me to Indian ways, particularly the Hopi. Yeah that was a good thing, finally, and it seemed to answer a lot of my seeking questions, though I couldn’t tell you exactly what the answers were. Suffice it to say I “found” something there that I had never found before in all my seeking.  However, the seeking has continued, on and on. Yet, after that great and nourishing Hopi nectar the seeking slowed way down as I had a ground to land on from time to time by thinking “Hopi”. Yeah that’s good cuz I still got that gift with me today.

Still, questions are a plenty, seeking is with me everyday at least for a minute, though usually much more. The difference now is I don’t take nearly as serious as I once did. I removed the wondering and replaced it with the notion of work. That is work to become as distant from modern life as I can be by living in poverty. So that’s helped, but I still get to feeling inadequate as a seek, like I’m just a wanna-be, but it don’t bug me so much as it used to, that’s good.

So I’ve kept trudging along the seek path, proud to be there, fighting the good fight against industrialization, all that. And for the past year as I’ve trudged an idea, or more a construct has been forming in my mind. It kinda comes out of nowhere and catches me by surprise, like that’s the way it’s supposed to happen, from wherever or whoever it’s coming from. It says to me, “sit there like a rock, and be where you are on your land, being its steward and caretaker; make it a walk in beauty and be one rock sitting among it.” Yeah, something like that. It does feel good, it feels solid, though it is elusive.  And I don’t mind the elusive thing, which also seems like it’s supposed to be that way.

See as a seek, I been a nervous Nelly, in some kinda hurry to connect and be in the breath of nature or some god damn thing I don’t know what, it’s nuts. I don’t necessarily regret that and I’d like to resolve it, but I never would run from it and become an accountant or salesman…whatever, oh no, my god that’d be hell. Don’t get me wrong, it ain’t like I never get the connect I’m looking for, in fact, it is the many wondrous and enlightening experiences I’ve had as a seek that keeps me on its path. My dilemma has been that I seemed to want to stayed connected 24 hours a day, thus the nervous Nelly.

So back to this recent awakening to be a sitting rock on my land, I am growing more in this as time is going by. The truth is I’ve always known about this sitting rock thing, it has been part of my enlightenment as a seek. In fact, most all of my connects have started this way. Do you understand what I am saying when I say “connects”? Cuz see, that’s the whole meaning of  being a seek, as least for me it is. I seek to connect. With what is always up for grabs but 9 times out of 10 it is with nature, no, 10 out of 10 really. It’s always that. Though “nature” in this case comes in many forms. Most of the time I call it spirits, I’m looking to connect with spirits. It’s a nectar thing.

Being this sitting rock is quite obvious as to what that means, it means meditating, being quiet and listening. It means shut the fuck up and listen.  What’s new to me in this experience is I am finding what I am listening to does not result in learning, in direction, in commandments or “my next step” kinda shit. No, it’s just listening, connecting with how the earth feels, what state of mind she’s in, and all that is happening is I get to enjoy that, or sometimes cry over it cuz she’s not always happy, she is mortal you know. She’s just another person to get to know. She’ll die someday just like the rest of life does. Her sun will blow up and she’ll go with it.

So nothing new under the sun in my seek world really, I just gotta shut the fuck up and listen, that’s all.

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