When to Shut Up—Always

download1I been a seek since I’s about 14 years old, maybe even as early as 10. It caused me to talk to myself asking questions to the sky, wondering where the fuck do I fit in. I always heard about how we are all one, that everything in the universe is connected. Well I don’t often get that but even when I do, it seems like something no so important to my immediate place in time. A nice thought, but it doesn’t really do much for my day to day life.

As a seek these kind of questions and realizations would seem important, so I thought and I wondered if I was misplaced in my employment as a seek. But oddly, my feelings of inadequacy regarding this pushed me even further into seekhood.  It made me talk more to myself, ask even more questions and as that effort always wound up a net zero I began to wonder if I should just give it up. Of course I never have, it seems that this condition is built in to my psyche, so I had to abandoned the idea of abandoning my need to seek. Oh well.

Eventually my continued seeking lead me to Indian ways, particularly the Hopi. Yeah that was a good thing, finally, and it seemed to answer a lot of my seeking questions, though I couldn’t tell you exactly what the answers were. Suffice it to say I “found” something there that I had never found before in all my seeking.  However, the seeking has continued, on and on. Yet, after that great and nourishing Hopi nectar the seeking slowed way down as I had a ground to land on from time to time by thinking “Hopi”. Yeah that’s good cuz I still got that gift with me today.

Still, questions are a plenty, seeking is with me everyday at least for a minute, though usually much more. The difference now is I don’t take nearly as serious as I once did. I removed the wondering and replaced it with the notion of work. That is work to become as distant from modern life as I can be by living in poverty. So that’s helped, but I still get to feeling inadequate as a seek, like I’m just a wanna-be, but it don’t bug me so much as it used to, that’s good.

So I’ve kept trudging along the seek path, proud to be there, fighting the good fight against industrialization, all that. And for the past year as I’ve trudged an idea, or more a construct has been forming in my mind. It kinda comes out of nowhere and catches me by surprise, like that’s the way it’s supposed to happen, from wherever or whoever it’s coming from. It says to me, “sit there like a rock, and be where you are on your land, being its steward and caretaker; make it a walk in beauty and be one rock sitting among it.” Yeah, something like that. It does feel good, it feels solid, though it is elusive.  And I don’t mind the elusive thing, which also seems like it’s supposed to be that way.

See as a seek, I been a nervous Nelly, in some kinda hurry to connect and be in the breath of nature or some god damn thing I don’t know what, it’s nuts. I don’t necessarily regret that and I’d like to resolve it, but I never would run from it and become an accountant or salesman…whatever, oh no, my god that’d be hell. Don’t get me wrong, it ain’t like I never get the connect I’m looking for, in fact, it is the many wondrous and enlightening experiences I’ve had as a seek that keeps me on its path. My dilemma has been that I seemed to want to stayed connected 24 hours a day, thus the nervous Nelly.

So back to this recent awakening to be a sitting rock on my land, I am growing more in this as time is going by. The truth is I’ve always known about this sitting rock thing, it has been part of my enlightenment as a seek. In fact, most all of my connects have started this way. Do you understand what I am saying when I say “connects”? Cuz see, that’s the whole meaning of  being a seek, as least for me it is. I seek to connect. With what is always up for grabs but 9 times out of 10 it is with nature, no, 10 out of 10 really. It’s always that. Though “nature” in this case comes in many forms. Most of the time I call it spirits, I’m looking to connect with spirits. It’s a nectar thing.

Being this sitting rock is quite obvious as to what that means, it means meditating, being quiet and listening. It means shut the fuck up and listen.  What’s new to me in this experience is I am finding what I am listening to does not result in learning, in direction, in commandments or “my next step” kinda shit. No, it’s just listening, connecting with how the earth feels, what state of mind she’s in, and all that is happening is I get to enjoy that, or sometimes cry over it cuz she’s not always happy, she is mortal you know. She’s just another person to get to know. She’ll die someday just like the rest of life does. Her sun will blow up and she’ll go with it.

So nothing new under the sun in my seek world really, I just gotta shut the fuck up and listen, that’s all.

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Anger Addiction: It’s Why We Fight


Everyone now and then, maybe once or twice a year I head over the home of skeptics, Climate Change Dispatch, a place to rock and roll on climate debate…if you wish that kinda pain. There you will find a taste of idiocy that will startle you as you will see complete lies, blatant stupidity, zeal gone crazy, fucked u…wait a minute…they say that same thing about me…yeah, ME! )humm

Yeah that’s right, they do say those very same things about me. And I gotta ask myself, why the fuck is that? How can this be? If I say they’re stupid, and they say I’m stupid, then that can’t be unless we are all stupid…

Yeah see I could get stuck in that rotation for an eternity and I’m tellin’ ya, I ain’t gonna do it. At some point with the wheel you gotta say to yourself you’re the one who’s spinning it.

Well, I did a little experiment on this the last couple days over there at Climate Change Dispatch (CCD) that demonstrates this dynamic. I didn’t intend to do it when I went there at first; the experiment came up while engaged with my fellow anger idiots. Admittedly, that place ain’t exactly a representation of the population when it comes to talking about anger issues and how they bring us to fighting, but it sure can make how it works quite clear. Sometimes it takes looking at the extreme side of a thing to see where the thing itself originates. To the point: the fighting is the thing we desire and the reason is only the vehicle.  In the case of climate debate, it’s no different, in fact, 99.9% of engaged climate debate/confrontation immediately results in anger and sets off the addiction to anger that we all have. I mean god damn, am I saying anything anybody don’t know here? It’s pretty obvious.  And of course very obvious when it happen among radicals, and especially when it’s radicals from both sides debating…whoa! But like I said, it really clears up reality on what it is we do with each other, and that is fight.

You say, “Well hey buddy I don’t live in the radical world, I don’t do that.” No, no, we all do it, some just more than others and with more drastic results, but we all do it at some level, it’s a base addiction. In fact, I’d believe that anger, and particularly expressing anger, is the basis for all addictions. You could say that anger is the God and ruler of all addictions.

Before I ever got into the climate change issue, I was into an issue that is still very relevant to me today and that is sociopolitical polarization.  Man, it’s the motherfucker of the motherfuckers. Anyway, for a very long time now I’ve been trying to understand why and what causes sociopolitical polarization, and in the last couple years I think I am finally getting close to understanding it. I have many times gone to people online in forums, on face book, comment sections, wherever, and I try to get their opinions on “why and what causes sociopolitical polarization”.  This is what I just did at CCD, and then the resulting experiment which I’ll get into later.

OK, in the case of climate change I get the same basic answer from both sides which is that the issue has been politicized and confiscated by the far left and right in order to meet their respective agendas…yeah, uh hah.

In find that answer sounding good, and it certainly is true that it happens as I can attest to it cuz I do it. I mean my ultimate hopes for the world is that we get rid of materialism and become farmers and I use climate change to make that argument. So yeah political confiscation sounds good but it just don’t seem to cover it, the god damn thing is too automatic. Sociopolitical polarization is everywhere and in involved in every major issue, as soon as you believe a thing, some fucker’s gonna believe the opposite. Why? Cuz that fucker has a need to get angry and express it and he’s addicted to that need; end of story.

Yeah I could call it instinct, a natural part of human nature, but nah, it’s addiction and we all got it. Some chronic, some barely there with it, but it’s there. And now it’s something we can’t live with, it’s become a serious thing and it’s gotta go or were gonna be dead by it. All addictions lead to disaster, and here we go to ours as a collective…well, that’s another article. Let’s stick with this at the personal level, and really, there is no difference in the experience at the collective level, it’s the same the thing the individual experiences, which is fighting and anger.

OK, I think I may have just conducted an experiment that might just prove this theory, at least a little. Here’s what I presented to the group at CCD when I first got there. Note that I’d previously introduced myself and this was the second encounter:

Well, we’ve had fun here before, is Gator still about?
And hey, I come in peace.:)
I just like to hear all sides from time to time, to be honest, it’s more of a socio/cultural reason that I come here. Mostly my interest is to find out why there is such polarization on not just climate change, but just about every dang issue that means anything. Anyways, that’s what I’m here about, ignore me if you wish, or please give me your thoughts, on for instance why does one set of people, you here, think that the ice is fine, while another set, like me, think it’s going to hell? How do these extremes in thought happen? I’d like anyone’s opinion. I’m not here to argue climate change, I’m here to find out why we are so different. Aren’t you all curious about that?

Here is an example of the industry standard answer, depending on what side you’re on, though it don’t matter:

I think there are some major issues which need to be resolved. I am not a conspiracist theroy person but it appears to me that some wool is being pulled over our eyes and the climate debate is being politicised. It also appears to me that the whole debate has been elevated beyond the the realms of normal scientific challenge and that it is out of bounds to challenge findings about AGW although challenging findings process is the normal scientific process.
To give one example of how the whole debate has become distorted. The 97% consensus argument by Cook and Nuticcelli. They clearly claim it’s 97% of scientific papers but some scientists write a significant volume of papers so if the claim were to be how many scientist it would probably be around the 20% mark.
I get an uneasy feeling when so many scientists push their conclusions upon us without giving us the real opportunity to decide for ourselves. I think they’ve stolen the ball and are running away with it to play by themselves.

And here’s an answer from a radical, could be either side, content don’t matter, listen to the anger:

It’s incredibly simple. As we explained to you once already. They key to what your asking lies in what you state you do not want to talk about. The FACTS about climate change. IE: That every single CAGW model has failed.
The Co2 Warming “hypothesis” has been refuted by observations. The Scientific Method has no place for “opinion”, democracy or the delphi technique.
Only whether you “hypothesis” can be disproven when compared to experiment. “If it disagrees with experiment it’s wrong!”
Every single CAGW model prediction has failed this test.
Your passive aggressive political science approach is tiresome and irrelevant.

Now, notice that he accused me of being passive aggressive, and guess what, I was. And of course, he was just plain aggressive, but both of us guilty of…anger. So what happens from there you can explore yourself in two separate articles at CCD,  Flashback 2009: John Kerry’s Epic Fail On An Ice-Free Arctic By 2015, and Pope Ponders Paganism. I mean to tell ya, it goes nuts from there but you’ll see the anger for sure. As soon as they accused me of coming there in sheep’s clothing to convert them I got immediately pissed and started…fighting.  They fought back and what is evident is a “fight”, but you know what, nothing more than that.

It was also at that moment I decided to do an experiment and that was to see how long this thing could go before they would leave me alone or ask me to leave. They never did, I could still be there playing the game with them and believe me it got nuts. All the way to one guy trying to dig up dirt on me, and did, and posted it! That’s pretty serious anger. But hey, not so long ago I may have done the same thing, so…

I hinted many times they could ask me to leave, but see, they were too addicted to the event to do that, the juice would be gone if they kicked me out; addiction not fed. I’ve admitted to myself my getting angry and participating in this, though very differently from them and for the experiment but still I was emotionally there as much as them. However I been working on this shit within myself pretty hard the last couple years and the worst thing you can do about anger addiction is deny it, it’ll boot you in the ass as it has me many times over. But as soon as you recognize it and admit you got it, you take a huge portion of its power away. These guys at CCD do this anger dance everyday, every day. I used to do that, now like I say I expose myself maybe twice a year to climate debate. The last few times I’ve come away learning something, which is always about anger, I never learn anything else in these scenarios, just about anger and its power.

These same fights go on everywhere, from congress to the old men at Monday morning McDonald’s. Like I said earlier, it’s another article and would show the implications of the anger at the larger levels or collective level, and so I won’t go into it here. However, I believe the conclusions about the collective experience are easily derived. But there’s something one must do in order to truly see where this thing is at today. First and foremost, you have to assume that you are just as screwy, just as fucked up, just as wrong as the guy you are accusing of the same things. I mean you gotta believe it too, you gotta really let go of your biases, and when you do that you will see most all of this debate ain’t much more than guys and gals sitting around having anger cocktails. Even though the issues involved could be life threatening. I’m trying to stop it myself and have quite a bit for myself, but at the collective level it’s so lethal I hope we see it soon.  OK, that’s all I wanted to say.

5-18-15–This is an add in after further thought about something. Call it a conclusion. The lesson from this is there is no point in debating skeptics, not at this stage of the game anyway. If there are still people who think we’re dandy, well, they’ll have to be shown. It’s like same sex marriage, abortion, legalizing pot, whatever, it’s one of those things people have there minds made up on, again, at this stage of the game. I strongly suggest you not debate those kinda of people. I can only really say this to climate activist and be completely confident about its reality, but I also am sure it applies too many issues, I just wouldn’t know the degree, but with climate change? I’d say let the debate go and do what you can to save as many as you can.  All’s one can do in regards to skeptics is refute their claims for the innocents sake, but do not discuss climate change with them or argue their claims, never, it’s too late for that.

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Gravity: the Measured Illusion


The search for the graviton particle is no longer necessary if my hypotenuse proves to be theory.  Gravity is only an illusion, not an undiscovered particle; yet, it is useable in exacting physics equations. Gravity is measurable, but not detectable.  That is because “what is happening” (as oppose to) “what is there” makes the distinguishing difference. Nothing is there but something is happening.

What is happening?

We see gravity has this so called pull to the earth or what ever body that has gravity greater than another body, it becomes mass vs. mass–PULL. BUT, there is no pull, there is only variations in the speed or velocity of collective particles.  In other words, objects, being a collection of particles, move to and fro from one another by changes in speed are not pulled to and fro.  The event is seen by the eye as objects in relation to speed, like a car passing you, and felt as a collision of objects at differing speeds, like a car passing and clipping you.

If you jump up you come back down. But you don’t actually come straight back down (a test to be tried using spheres in a controlled environment).  Instead, the earth as an object of collective particles is moving slower than you are as an object of collective particles, but this only happens while you are detached from the earth, because then you are detached from it’s speed. You come back down faster than you went up because your “true speed” is faster than the earth’s true speed. But once you’ve hit the earth your speed becomes the earth’s speed and your true speed minus the earth’s true speed is the amount of energy stored or actually pushed against the earth, yet it remains and never goes away. It just pushes, so you are not feeling weight by your mass to the earth’s mass, you’re just a car pushing against an army tank; spinning your wheels to go faster than the tank.

How and why does this happen?

First I’ll answer why.  It starts (and ends) with the Big Bang. An explosion of particles all given an exact speed via the propulsion energy of the blast, each particle assigned a given speed according to there mass and volume. This blast was powerful enough to have stored that given energy in that given particle as to remain a constant for 13.7 billion years now. The blast has not peaked neither has the energy given to varying particles. And the greatest of these is the Light Particle, who gives us how.

The light particle sets the stage.  That is because it is the smallest and lightest particle; actually it has no mass or volume. But it does have speed; it goes 186,000 miles per second! All other particles’ speeds are reduced in exact proportion to light’s mass and volume which is zero.  So any particle that has mass and volume will have a reduction in speed minus 186,000 per second, if 20% of it’s potential propulsion energy (equal to light’s) is taken up by mass and volume, then it’s speed will only be 148,800 miles per second.

So how the event of so called gravity happens is because an object’s collective mass and volumes of particles a speed equilibrium is reached for the entirety of that object.  Some of the particles want to go faster than the others; it’s their instinct to do so because of the constant energy still being supplied by the big bang.   Two objects in relation to each other are only moving at the same speed as the galaxy they exist in, and that is all in relation to space time movement. However, all objects can change speed according to the ability to have the bigger object that is in front of it move out of the way so it can get up it’s speed.

That is all that is happening, you see.  The big bang sent particles hurling in exact precision, in all directions, some moving faster, some slower.  The slower ones got in the way of the fasters ones because they where bigger and heavier. Consequently, relationships between particles formed to create elements, then atoms, throw in magnetic energy and eventually we were driving cars. But the cars are not clued to the road by gravity, or some particle that has such magnetism as to hold it there.  Instead, they are moving by the additional propulsion force of the eight cylinder engine on the object that is being propelled more or less the same direction you and your car is but you and your car can’t pass because the earth is to big for you to push against you and the earths trajectory which is the same, why because of the big bang’s constant supply of propulsion energy to the particles that make up you and your car combined.

The earth is only passing the sun and the sun is passing the earth because their speeds vary a little in relation to space time and the overall speed of the galaxy.  It’s all variations in speed which changes the distance between objects.  They get faster as they approach one another because one is accelerating and the other is not or is at least not accelerating as fast.  If either of the objects just so happens to have reach it’s true speed, which never happens, then it would move at steady speed, but since all particles (except light) are at war to reach their true speed, objects are continually accelerating and decelerating.  Why does it work out so smoothly and uniformly here on earth?  Because of why it all happens in the first place, the exact continuous force of propulsion energy given by the big bang.  How can the varying speeds of different objects be so precise as to give the illusion that a force is being applied, and that can be measured and predicted as to the behavior of the objects? Because the particles that make them up retain a constant supply of exact propulsion energy warring to reach a precise speed, yet the war is controlled as precisely by a constant energy force, mathematically the total energy forces of the particle universe divided by the constant energy force applied by the big bang is equal to 1.  Variations occur only in objects but are insignificant in space and time.  Interstellar variations because of dark matter and dark energy, which I’ll get into later, and surface variations, mostly due to geologic events, life forms and intelligence.

Note: there are people out there who would use something like this article to discredit someone for reasons completely unrelated to this article. I’ve already had that experience. So, I guess what one could call this note is a disclaimer for those who have malicious intent, THIS IS JUST FOR FUN!! But it’s my god damn mother fucking theory, and I fucking like it. Why? Cuz it’s FUN!!


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Mr. Right’s Emotional Disorder

July 2012

In this chapter I am Mr. Right.  Yeah that’s right—I’m right.  I am right about everything in this book…well, quite a bit of it anyway.  Let me put it this way; I believe with all my heart everything I’ve written in this book.  Given that, it means I try my best to live out what I say here and though I wish my best was better,  I still know that I’ve given it my all.  You’d think that because of my great effort to do good that I’d be someone who feels good about themselves therefore giving them a fair shot a having emotional stability.  Wrong. I’m about as fucked up as Hogan’s goat.

I do have “some” good feelings about myself for what I am doing in my life, in fact, I am quite proud of it. But those feelings don’t override all the other instabilities that seeking this way of life entails. So, before you go off on your high horse to save the world like me, you’d better give it many thoughts because you will be in for one hell of an emotional ride and I am sorry to say most of those emotions won’t be very happy.

Within the confines of our present societal norms I will tell you that trying to get away from the system, trying to shout the coming peril to your fellow human beings, and trying to think in a way that is completely the opposite of those around you is exactly the wrong way to find emotional security. You will be banished and it is quite possible no one will even know it, but you will know it because you will be the one who has banished yourself from life as it is and as you grow deeper into this quest you will realize what you have done and man o man does that one hurt, but you get used to it.

Its common sense really, anytime a person runs against the grains of society you are going to be an outcast, you will rub people the wrong way, people will rub you the wrong way and in the end you will find that quite literally you have put yourself in mental and emotional exile.  It doesn’t matter if the society in question is good or bad; it is the mainstream that dictates what happiness is. If you live in a society that believes murder is a good thing, then if you are not murdering then you are going to be considered mal-adjusted and you will become emotionally and mentally crippled by it. If you are murdering then you’ll have friends and emotional security because you will be normal.

Believe me, leaving the system is a very rough road and the irony is though I wish this road for everybody, I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. In the end it becomes none other than a life of loneliness and isolation; not good conditions for a happy life. Oh yeah it’s true; what I am saying is you actually find your self coming to a rather hideous state of poor health.

There is no way around it, you can’t take on becoming a reject of society and keep an emotionally healthy state of being. You want friends don’t you? Well, if you do this thing you will see friends quietly pass you by. And perhaps now I’ve convinced you that the free enterprise system of economics is a bit of a devil and if you believe that then you may find yourself hating your job even though you may have loved it before.  This is because you will be making money and you will see that when you are making money you are supporting the very system you just turned against. But you need money because you gotta eat and then it gets even crazier when that kicks in because it becomes this insane loop of wanting to not participate in this system but having to, it’s a bitch.  The only exception to this is when you have money enough to buy your way out of the system (see Article 2, Appendix 1, Dreams and Debt—A Dichotomy). However, I know that the majority of the folks who will take this on don’t have much money. People with money tend to stay that way…go figure.

A quick admission: If I would have had money before I got into this in 1995 I most likely would not be writing this right now, instead, I’d be spending my money.  I could perhaps say that the only reason I ever got into this is because I failed within the system to become financially sound (not even close) which left me open to something other than what the system offered and it so happened I had the mind to recognize that and began looking for that something. But was I looking because I was some sort of special guy who cared so much about his fellow human beings he was willing to take a cultural dive into never, never land? No. Actually, I am very selfish and I have no natural tendency towards being anything like the Good Samaritan.

So what made me take the final leap?  One word: knowledge.  There is no other reason really. Being a failure was what opened my mind.  But since I didn’t have the character traits that make for a giving man, there wasn’t much impetus to forgo a life of comfort.  The impetus came out of knowledge. I simply knew too much to turn away, get it?  It’s like this: If you worked in a factory that made lethal injection equipment, then how would you feel about your job if your son were on death row? With that knowledge could you forgo your love for your son and do your job, even though it could be that the machine you are making could be the one that kills him? Well get this, when you get a head full of the truth about what the hell we’ve been doing the last 300 years and why, then you really don’t have much choice but to run like hell as far away from what’s happening as you can.  Because see, unless the dad making the kill machine has no heart at all, he will have to quit his job.

As it goes, god damn it, I am still working ‘for money’ and it fucks me up.  I think many times to just quit and walk into the desert or something. I literally get ill behind this scenario and I am continuously an emotional wreck.  I only work just enough to live, about $150 a week, sometimes less.  I have subjected myself to deep poverty in order to do this thing and I wish to hell I could say I am happy about that but I’m not, I want some fucking money.  Of course I want it for the right reason now, which is to invest in a subsistence farm so that from there forward I would not need much money at all and could rejoice in that fact. Thankfully, I no longer want money for money’s sake, at least that feels good and I have emotionally adjusted to it.

But that’s about all I’ve adjusted to. Otherwise, I am nearly clinically depressed, I suffer physical symptoms as well, I have no social life, without friends I continually feel as though I am no one in this world, I am not in the success game and even though I know why I sometimes feel like a looser, and the loneliness becomes unbearable at times.  Finally, there’s the anger and bitterness. I’m sure you’ve picked it up in me thus far. The frustration of not being able to get free of the system’s grip really gets to pissing me off. I’ve come to understand it more, but only recently.  It comes to the point that you realize you are going to get pissed about all this so don’t fight it too much and don’t try to hide it. In any case, the road can be an unhappy one and you should know that. But I hope you travel it anyway so good luck.  I hope I haven’t scared you off because maybe we’ll all get to being whackos someday and as soon as we all get whacko, we won’t be whacko anymore.

Who are we?

I’ll speak mostly about myself in this part as an example but allow me to say that many of the people who will and do get involved in this sort of thing are just about whacko before they even start, just like I was. If you are happy and well adjusted within the system, then why would you leave? No, instead you are likely very mal-adjusted within the system and that makes you…sick.  I’m telling you straight if you do not get honest about this you will find yourself continually taking the wrong turns, take my word for it. I finally realized this about 11 years ago, that is, I realized I had become quite mentally and emotionally affected by this quest. And even before that, about 3 years earlier, I realized that something had happened to me in regard to my impulse to succeed within this economy. I found I’d lost all connection with that impulse, it was sort of weird to come to this but at that time I didn’t think it was affecting my mental state. Of course later on and certainly by now I am fully aware of the condition this has put me in. Oh by the way, it doesn’t really get much better…you more or less adapt.

What happened to us?

I talked about this in chapter 2 of this part of the book “Poverty Consciousness—A four Letter Word”.  But I wish to go deeper into it here. As I said earlier, most of us are whacko before we even begin a quest like this, the quest to leave the system that is. In the chapter I mentioned above I said, “by the time they were about 12 years old they began to see that life in the modern world was sort of out of place, something was wrong and they couldn’t buy into it.”

In the above quote I was referring to the poor who are supposedly afflicted with poverty consciousness but it applies with this topic as well, especially given that most of you wishing to leave the system will have experienced poverty at some time in your life.  If you haven’t most likely you will if you really try to leave the system and don’t have lots of dough to catch the bus. What happens to us within that quote above is somewhere from around 10 to 14 years old we begin to see that what mom and dad do is work. We see all those damn grownups out there—working. And the teachers at school seem to be slipping you the notion that good grades are pretty important if you are going to make it “out there”. Everything happening in the world seems to be revolving around economy and you get the feeling its something pretty serious; that bugs you. Though you may not really understand what you are feeling and seeing about these scenarios, something about them seems wrong.

It is at this moment that a jolt comes to your system, you get sort of scared and timid about what’s going to happen to you. You don’t really seem to jive with what you are seeing but everyone seems to be on the train so what-a-ya-gonna-do? What you do is recoil from these thoughts and bury them.  That’s when you start to get whacko as the guilt and shame begins milling you into a derelict.

From there you can most likely become a struggling student. You may be a trouble maker, but not as likely as you will be sort of a loner. Whatever will be happening to you, most likely you won’t blend to well. And get this, that’s even if you are popular and a good student. Nevertheless you will at least try and keep up, but as you are making that attempt way deep inside that original fear of “what’s gong to happen to you” remains. The reason it remains is because you never have resolved those thoughts of how you can’t jive with the system and so those thoughts also remain deep within you.

I’m sure there are all sorts of case scenarios of how all this turns out. If you are from a “have” family you stand a fair chance of dousing this awakening and perhaps you may carry on to do the same as your parents. If you come from “have not’s ” you’ll have a slim chance of overcoming yourself and most likely you’ll either wind up a drunk, a bum, a neurotic or maybe even psychotic, whatever…you’ll be something fucked up as far as the system goes. OR, you’ll decide to leave the system and find out who you really are.

Again, this is a different group of people I am talking about here as oppose to the poor in general that were talked about in the afore mentioned chapter. Though the poor in general are subject to this line of thinking very few of them will recognize it.  Those that do usually don’t see it until they are long past their youth.  It takes some hard knocks to eventually return to those thoughts you had when you were 12 and pay heed to them.

In conclusion I think I can safely say that if you are someone attempting to leave or have left the system then it is likely you’ll fit somewhere in the preceding paragraphs. In my case it will get better when I am able to get my subsistence farm at least in a little bit of a swing. But the truth is it could be many years, as of last week I’ve been at this for 17 years. It could happen that I may not get to have this farm before I am gone. If that is so, I’ll have lots of accepting to do. But you see there is no way I’ll ever turn away and go back. Even with the pain it has all been worth it. As I look towards my future I can not see myself becoming a cordial member of the free enterprise system ever again, even to death.

Hopefully many of you out there will find a softer easier path than mine has been. I am sure there are many of you who will, I hope so, we need some success on this. There will be many of you who will suffer like I have; many of you are suffering right now I am sure. But hopefully, like me, you will find that it is no loss in your life and that as a 21stcentury human being you will still feel fortunate to have known what to do, or at least try to do and why.

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pagan-goddess-mother-earth1I don’t know if that image there has anything to do with what I’m about to say, but I liked it for it anyway.

Yeah see here’s the deal about the collective mind. Sure there’s no rules or supposed to be’s, of course, life happens and we go where we go, I’m talking from the perspective of a collective species here, but I suppose if you have a personal belief or religion guiding you, then maybe there’s some supposed to be’s. But I don’t know that there is any universal thought on supposed to be’s for a species as a collective. And we all got supposed to be’s for ourselves, but are there supposed to be’s for a species that are naturally ingrained, or are obviously necessary? For instance, “murder is wrong” seems to be a needed or established rule within a species.

Now I think there would be signals out there that would tell a species that something is wrong with it and that it is not adhering to its supposed to be’s; that is if it’s true that species actually do have supposed to be’s. Like say when it becomes obvious that a species is on it’s way out but there appears to be no outside force causing the decay. Is it because that species is not adhering to its own supposed to be’s? Yeah I think so.

Yeah see I think we do have one major supposed to be for our collective human existence but we let it go of a long time ago. And the irony is the broken rule is that we’ve made it OK for an individual to not be at the service of the collective. Yeah that was a rule we live by for hundreds of thousands of years, your first lesson as a kid was to devote yourself to your tribe or band. Your life was second to the collective. We don’t do that anymore, in fact, our devotion is to self interest rather than community interest and our relationship to each other is competitive rather than cooperative. Worse yet, we’ve collectively deemed this as virtuous.

Well it’s just a thought, cuz right or wrong about it, it’s likely too late to correct it anyway. But if it ain’t and by golly there actually are supposed to be’s for us as a collective, then I hope we at least begin now to understand that there is such a thing as a collective and it has responsibilities to itself, ain’t it?

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Non-Participation: The Nth Degree

imagesWell I believe in doing this blog I’ve said just about all I can say, I am already repeating myself quite a bit. So this “last post” is going to cover something I’ve not talked about in quite some time, and that is non-participation, it’s a big deal. Oh, what I mean by ‘last post’ is I’m not going to be addressing the subjects the same anymore, expect anything, but this is the last educating post. If you don’t believe or like what I been saying then…well, whatever. But if you should happen to agree in some manner, then perhaps this discussion will put it all into a singularity. It boils down to this, I can’t save the world, but I don’t have to participate in its destruction.

Yeah OK, what’s that mean? In recent post I’ve discussed the issue of relying on government to save the day. I’ve said that if you lined up all the congress’s of the world with totally environmental, social justice, anti-capitalists representatives, but didn’t have a changed public or more precisely a super majority of the public in line with this sort of congress, then you may as well line up congress with a whole set of Ted Cruz’s. Well, I said it sorta like that, but with a bit more emphasis this time. In short, it’s us, you and me, that have to change, not congress, they’ll change when we do.

So, here we’re gonna talk about what that change precisely is. I’ve alluded many times to people needing to plant food, catch water from their roofs, reduce their income and many other things along this subject. But what I want to do here is create the name or the label that identifies this action, I call it non-participation. And the idea behind that term is that we’ve concluded that economic growth and the free enterprise system of economics has failed and is more or less a deadly system for civilization to endure, therefore it needs to be shut down. We also can clearly see the government is no way going to shut down this system, cuz they and their corporate bosses are the root backbone of the system. What sustains that system is market activity. What will bust that system is a lack of participation in said market activity. You don’t buy it, they won’t make it.

I could stop here cuz it really is as simple as that last sentence in that last paragraph. The deal is it’s a god damn hard thing to do, especially to get a super majority of the global population to do it. Most will say, “Yeah like I want to reduce the size of my house from 3000 square feet to just 800. and oh, I gotta give up the rest of my space to the needy, yeah right.” I ain’t gonna spend words on the details of non-participation; really, it is self explanatory. The idea is too remove yourself from participating in the ways and means of the free market system as far as you are able. We have to be real, you can’t just jump out of your BMW and your 20 acre compound and onto an old bicycle heading to a “van down by the river”. However, you can try, can’t you? I mean, goes as far to that place as you can, cuz see, that’s kinda where we all gotta go, at least for a time.

If you need a road map for this, there is one very easy guide: money. The less money you have, the less you’ll be participating.  Believe me, this is not being over simplistic, it is a fact, the surest and quickest way to be uninvolved with the system is to not have much of the substance that moves you through it. Cuz see, that’s the whole idea behind the free market system, to move money around, it needs you to do that. The more money you have, the more involved with the system you are, even when it is just sitting in the bank and being used to fund charities. “ALL” money spent, from whatever source, will be money spent again on sources that are bad. It’s just the way it works, it’s the math that runs our world, and it’s a deadly math. Want to stop it? Then don’t have much money.

Oh yes, there is so much more to non-participation, but the idea is quite elementary. You get it already I’m sure. It’s the difficulty, that’s the bitch. The sacrifice, the pain, yeah, it’s a fucking ordeal. If everybody started doing it real soon and real quick, then chaos will be assured. But see, there is no way at this point we will avoid chaos, either we’ll start up the chaos ourselves and control its magnitude, or we’ll let it catch up to us and blow us off the planet, it’s our choice.

My personal life has attempted to demonstrate this non-participation thingy. I live in a tiny shack, catch and haul water, have an outdoor compost toilet, live on less than 10K per year, all that. But I could take it much further, however, I won’t. It’s too hard. But I can say I am doing my best to be a non-participant in the insanity of free enterprise. And I don’t really give a shit if my impact is worthless in the scheme of things. Because I can’t participate in this system without regret and depression anyway, so I do it regardless of outcome.  Knowledge, in this case, is my demise concerning wealth. I can’t pursue wealth while carrying in my head what I know about wealth. It’s impossible. Hopefully, the rest of the world can be faced with this demise and accept it. Sounds like miracle to me though, but maybe.

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Seeing the Magnitude: The Four Directions of Human Condition

imagesThere actually is an awakening that can happen to a person, it happened to me…see if you can get it too. It is an awakening of very specific sorts. It is a point in which you see the four directions of the human condition at one simultaneous moment. Once that moment occurs you will never forget it and you’ll always be able recapture the awakening.

The reason you can hold on to this mindset is because of the magnitude of what you will see. The ultimate magnitude of the collection of these four directions of the human condition equates to one final outcome, extinction. And that is what you will eventually see and is also the fundamental awakening you will experience. The result is you see the reality of the human condition in full, exact, and without prejudice. It is quite an experience. It may happen suddenly, or it may come in parts, but if you put in the work to get this open eye, you will eventually awaken.

There is nothing magical about this, it is the result of gathered knowledge that is more or less memorized and then coagulated into a single thought. That is the process and you won’t get there by shortcuts. However, some can get it quicker than others.

Here’s how. Look at the graphic below; see the four different directions of economic growth, destruction, inequality, and ethical decay.  Each of these subjects need to be studied and understood thoroughly. That is, thoroughly in the manner that you understand them from the perspective of their net impact on humanity’s overall condition. As you study each direction, keep in mind that economic growth is the central driver of all that is happening in these various directions.  Studying economic growth by itself will demonstrate this. The bottom line, know these subjects well. Study them from as many angles and venues as you can, then find the common denominator to draw a generalized conclusion about the subject.


Once you have made a good study and have made conclusions about each direction humanity is taking,. Start to think of them as a collective subject. Maybe even personify them into a single entity, a human character if you will. See who that person is. As you think this way and try to understand these four directions we are taking as a single direction it is then that the light starts to get bright. Something like that, you’ll need to find your own way with this. But know this, the outcome is quite definite, you “will” have an awakening, and it will profoundly affect your outlook on life and humanity. Good luck.

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